If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My underwear smells like fireworks.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
