you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
