i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
