The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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