may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
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The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
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Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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