the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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