I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
