Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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