im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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