Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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