'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
