Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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