fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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