you guys were way drunker than both of me
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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