why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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