Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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