Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
