After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize