I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
