Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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