and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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