yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
MIDGETS
????
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
