he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
