I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
