ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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