I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
