I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize