Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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