I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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