I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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