I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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