Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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