fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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