Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize