I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
