unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
