ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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