Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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