guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
