I'm really into asian looking animals
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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