someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
