I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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