Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
