so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
