everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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