Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
