well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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