I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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