none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
