1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
