know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
