remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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