A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
