i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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