Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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