Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
