The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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