Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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