How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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