Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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