Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
