at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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