Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
