i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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