I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
